Before we begin, please go read the poem here. I am forever thankful to Ghost Heart Literary Journal for giving this special piece a home.
This piece came to me as a result of a online poetry writing hosted by a bookstore for their local lit fest last August and reading Light Filters In by Caroline Kaufman (poeticpoison).
Originally, I had the intention of posting it on Instagram and this was supposed accompanying caption:
I actually wrote something good. 🙏
I know I have been out of sorts since July. I still am. The pandemic is getting to me and it’s stronger than ever. I couldn’t fight it as it held me prisoner with uncertainty about everything. I have no way of knowing and not knowing holds me down, crippling me of actually living out my truths. Knowing that I have this inability to write, I knew I needed something to ground me back and get me to start over. I did. I found an online poetry workshop hosted by a bookstore for their local lit fest.
I have to tell you this: I am untrained for writing. I have no technical background on writing. I have nothing to ground me to it. That is why I attend whatever writing workshop I can to make up for it. It helps, really. Attending workshops helps me hone my skills.
This particular workshop brought me back to the basics and taught me poetry at its best – how it is a translation of the inaccurate, how devices help out, and how to write by looking at it from the inside. The most important thing I got from it is that I need to read in order to be good at writing. I need to study the masters and to realize what they did in order to do it.
As a start, I read @poeticpoison’s Light Filters In and her poems reminded me to let it go. Just let everything go with complete honesty and vulnerability. And that is what I did here. I addressed my unwanted guests. Knowing that they’re here will help me find a way to guide them out of my being.
Easier said than done, yes.
But it’s a start.
I’m scared. I’m in despair. I’m lonely.
This pandemic is getting to me.
But I won’t let it win. I will rise.
That is a very lengthy caption, yes. I remember writing this caption in the middle of the night, right after writing the piece. Everything was laid out but a part of me didn’t want to let this poem go. I am no longer sure what prevented me from sharing that on August. After that, I stopped writing. I focused on my day job and making decisions about how I was going to go about my life in this pandemic. A large part of me wanted to stick it out on my own but yes, a lot of factors were considered and it was best for me to go home.
Somehow, I stumbled upon Ghost Heart Literary Journal’s call for submissions for Chambers and I thought, why not? I have this piece resting on my phone, waiting to be shared. Only did a few tweaks on the original draft before submitting.
Getting the positive response was one of the best things that happened in 2020. I was (figuratively) jumping for joy when I got the acceptance email. If we graph my happiness, it is a very obvious high peak. It was my first-ever poem in a literary journal. It is truly an honor for me to be a part of Ghost Heart Literary Journal’s Chambers.
I, however, wasn’t able to promote it immensely when it got out. I haven’t answered some responses too – which I feel very guilty of. I wanted to do a read through of all my issue-mates and recommend them for reading but I only got to read around eight entries as I got busy with packing and with work. (I shall try again, I suppose.)
Speaking of trying again, I just found out that Chambers for April 2021 is open for submissions, dear friends! This is the tweet from Ghost Heart Literary Journal:
Will I be submitting? Possibly. We’ll see.
Until next time!
Best regards,
Anj
Anj Writes Poems! 