NPWM2020 Contest Poem#16: Again and Again

I will meet you again
in the children’s playground
where our moms first met
and they’ll let us play together
until we become a set.

I will meet you again
wearing our school uniform,
waiting by your house gate
with the car ready to go
so we won’t be late.

I will meet you again
by the elementary school main entrance
after your rehearsals for violin
and my soccer practice games,
and swap sob stories and wins.

I will meet you again
in the high school chemistry lab
where you save me from a frog
who I thought is sedated,
and sleeping like a log.

I will meet you again
outside the hotel where we’ll have prom
even if you have Jenna in your arms,
and I don’t get to dance with you,
because Chad is showcasing his charms.

I will meet you again
after our graduation ceremony
where you’ll say you are leaving
to study elsewhere, somewhere far
and then, I’ll already start grieving.

I will meet you again
many years after, far from our town
in one of those quaint city bars
with both of us unaccompanied
and our stories never sparse.

I will meet you again
and become a matching set once more
which will bring the thrill of our mothers
and the new adventures we’ll share
as happy, sad, good, bad lovers.

I will meet you again
in that same playground
after years of happiness and fuss
with all the trials we’ll go through
and then, you’ll ask me to be “forever us”.

I will meet you again
in front of the church altar,
where we’ll say our vows
and promise to honor each other
with love that never bows.

I will meet you again
in many grand adventures of adulthood
which will test our patience
with lost jobs, hyper children, and tired sex
but will showcase our never-ending resilience.

I will meet you again
in this last adventure of our lives
where I’ll be outside waiting
– praying, hoping, believing –
only to find out that you’ll be leaving.

I will meet you again
in my dreams, where we’ll be together
after I recite this final eulogy
for everyone who’ll be left behind
and end this current tragedy.

*Again and Again, written on 04252020 as an answer to a NaPoWriMo contest prompt. Journey Notes will be posted after four more poems.

NPWM2020 Contest Poem#6: Mistress

I know the situation’s DELICATE
& it’s bound to be a mess.
But I’m STARVING for your touch
& I’m here in my little black DRESS,
SITTING, WAITING, WISHING, remembering
how you LOVE ME LIKE YOU DO
– with your truths and LIES IN THE DARK
mixed together and bonded with glue.
As you whisper it in my ear, I say ‘okay’
because I CAN’T GET ENOUGH of you.

You say you’re not going to LET ME GO
& you LOVE ME HARDER than anyone else.
NOBODY’S BETTER than you and your love
& I ONLY WANT YOU, no more, no less.
Now, you want THE CHASE to end;
you want something real and steady.
So you TELL ME YOU LOVE ME.
Now, I’m getting greedy and NEEDY.
BREAK UP WITH YOU GIRLFRIEND,
I’M BORED of waiting for you already.

**Mistress, written on April 12, 2020 as a response to a writing contest prompt. Journey Notes will be posted on May 24, 2020. It’s a must-read!

NPWM2020 Contest Poem#5: A Second Chance

Life has parted us
with different paths to tread
but there is one thing
that has never changed for me:
this prayer to be with you.

Is it destiny
that brought us back together?
Our lives cross again
to answer my one prayer
for a future together.

Maybe this time’s good;
without the struggles of youth
but with aged wisdom,
this would be a chance for us
to give this old love a try.

Would you take this chance
and see, for what it is worth,
the results we’d have —
how the flowers would bloom here
in the fields of this love?

**A Second Chance, written on April 11, 2020 as a response to a contest writing prompt. Journey Notes will be posted on May 18, 2020.

NPWM2020 Contest Poem#4: What I Want to Learn

I pray for my parents to know
what to teach me as I grow.

like

how to be kind
in a world where
it is hard to find

how to have grace
in every problem
I must face

how to persevere
during times when
there is so much fear

how to be fair
even if the world
does not care

and most importantly

how to give
myself and others
the love we all need

I am excited to meet everyone.
Please wait until I’m done.

**What I Want to Know, written on April 10, 2020 as a response to a contest prompt. Journey Notes will be shared on May 18, 2020.

NPWM2020 Contest Poem#2: In Memoriam

I kept all of our bittersweet memories
inside my waiting, beating heart
But as the day, months, and years passed,
my mind has taken them down and apart.

I woke up one day, wondering
how much you meant to me.
When did I start slowly forgetting
what I hoped for us to be?

This is the way my love for you died.

**In Memoriam, written on April 2, 2020 as a response to a NaPoWriMo contest prompt.  Journey Notes will be posted on May 18, 2020.

NPWM2020 Contest Poem#1: Heart at a Loss

This morning, it is raining
in this bubble of my creation.
Last night’s tears evaporated
together with the question.

“Did you ever love me?”

As it remains unanswered,
I pray for my heart,
who misread everything
to not fall apart.

This afternoon, I lie
waiting, possibly in vain.
I am already drowning
in the pouring rain.

“Did you really even care?”

I checked my phone again,
and still there’s no sign.
Whether an answer is given
or not, I will be fine.

This evening, I decide
to let the feelings go.
I won’t let this sorrow
stay with me tomorrow.

I take a deep breath.
I exhale, burst the bubble.
I feel my heartbeat
Begin to quicken.

**Heart at a Loss, written on April 1, 2020 as a response to a NaPoWriMo contest prompt. Writing Journey/Spark Notes will be posted on May 18, 2020.

Poem #46: Morning Rays

The eyes that see
my true self
with the kindness
of the heart.

The smile that warms
my heart and soul
with the happiness
it brings.

The arms that hold
my entire being
with the warmth
of love.

The lips that whisper
into my heart
its pure wish
for joy.

How could I
be so lucky
to have met
my sunshine?

But how could I
be so blind
to let it
leave me?

As the sun bathes
us with morning
rays, she says
good bye.

**Morning Rays, a poem written on April 13 – 14, 2015, in response to the prompt, an aubade.

Poem #45: Heading East

Wild nights in the lost sea!
Wild nights! We shall have together
In this small boat, were I with thee!

Wild nights should be our luxury!

Futile as it’s a problematic sort,
the winds of change will be our guide so
let us head east, to a heart in port!

Done with the compass! Done with the chart!

Rowing, even when our arms ache,
in Eden, it may be a challenge
but we shall not stop until… Ah the Sea!

Might I but moor tonight in thee!

**Heading East, a poem written on April 12, 2015, in response to the prompt on Day 5, a reconstructed Emily Dickinson poem (Wild nights – Wild nights!)

SOURCE OF POEM: Here

Poem #43: Waiting in Vain

Only by December, we promise to meet and see if:
Life will let love take its place and set its course after parting.
January is about new beginnings and endings.
Without you, I wake up at night, wishing you were here now.
February is when hearts and chocolates fill the scene.
Lovers are around and about; I miss you more and more.
March is the month when the seasons change from winter to spring.
I feel the need to let change set in so I could be free.
April is beautiful, with all the colors setting in.
I find myself appreciating the world on my own.
May is our birth month and would-have-been anniversary.
Celebrating feels rather surreal now that you are gone.
June brings in the sun and is supposedly fun and wild.
I join our friends for adventures but it is not the same.
July is a month of freedom and peace for all of us.
But even at this point, I still feel myself chained to you.
August is another dead month; time goes by without haste.
I ignore this gnawing pain inside and go on with life.
September brings in change once more, and you closer to home.
I find distractions to grow into while waiting for you.
October lets in the cold wind as the leaves change colors.
I keep myself warm with thoughts of you and me together.
November’s chilly moments come and go without a trace.
I prepare myself to welcome you back into my arms.
December’s snow and the holiday cheer spreads like warm fire.
I stand where you left me, very eager to see you now.

Where are you, my love? Have you forgotten today’s meeting?

Only then I am told that you’ll never come back to me.
Your mother comes to see me with a letter in her hand.
She gives it to me, and waits for me to read what it says.

You were shot during a crossfire and never made it.

**Waiting in Vain, a poem written based on NaPoWriMo’s third prompt, fourteeners, on April 9 – 10, 2015

Poem #41: Memory Reconstruction

We did not meet at the most inconvenient time — students in one of the biggest universities in the country, fresh with hopes and dreams.

We did not sit beside one another — eventually finding out that we share many worlds of interests and loving conversations.

We did not spend days together — laughing at the same things, dancing in the rain, talking about our hopes and dreams, and much more…

We did not kiss under the stars — that night we saw shooting stars while seated on the hood of your car and made that silly wish to be together forever.

We did not hold hands and go on dates — because we were friends before lovers   and simply stayed the same happy duo everyone knew through the years.

We did not fight and try to change — as problems come and go, we died a little and the love started wilting away as things got more complicated.

We did not go to this pre-graduation rave — where I saw you kissing this frosh and you saw me being manhandled by a jock I had a crush on.

We did not talk or meet since then — as we both know how much space we need in order to think about the right things to say.

We did not agree to meet in the classroom — where everything started and, eventually, ended with a hug and a few tears along with us parting ways.

We did not go our separate ways — with you heading off to med school with that frosh in your arms and me entering the corporate world with only my guts and brains in tow.

We did not meet again until years later — in a get-together with our common friends, drinking the night away with cocktails and conversations.

We did not talk to each other like we used to — sharing the same happy vibe we had in college, loving our current unattached selves, and working our way to our goals in life.

We did not say that we’ll meet and talk some more after the party — even if we both know it wasn’t going to happen as circumstances prevent us from doing so.

We did not meet that terrible accident on the highway — the beam did not fall from the unfinished skyway, smashing our convoy of cars.

You did not make it — but we died that night, swiftly and silently, without much of a fight.

I did not think it would hurt this much — losing you for the second time around made life rather… unbearable.

I did not move since then — so I was brought to someone who could reconstruct my memories of us.

I did not fight back the reconstruction — a tear slid down my cheek as I stared at the pendulum while a voice tells me my new memories.

I don’t know what I am talking about.

**Memory Reconstruction, a poem based on NaPoWriMo’s first prompt, negation, written on April 9, 2015.